Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
