i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Randomize
