we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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