I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
