New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
