That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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