I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
