Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
