His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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