I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
