i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
