Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
