Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
