wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
