woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
