She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
