Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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