i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
