I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
