Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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