No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
