So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
