Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
