So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
