O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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