Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
