yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
