i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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