I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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