First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
