Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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