Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
