**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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