What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Randomize
