how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
