Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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