i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
