yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The best revenge is premature balding
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
The struggles of a small town man whore
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
