it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
