this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
