I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
