he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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