I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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