you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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