She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
