She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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