that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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