I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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