the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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