Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
