Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
