this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
