Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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