I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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