Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
