I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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