You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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