How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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