There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize